Despite what other spiritual teachers may tell you, Hell is very real. But it’s not a place, and Creator doesn’t send anyone there for any reason. Why in the world would S/He? We ARE Creator. Creator wouldn’t hurt itself. Creator, our soul, only seeks joy and expansion. We send ourselves there through misuse of our precious Free Will, because we haven’t known any better and we’ve been hypnotized, programmed, and trained to do it. That’s the TRUTH that The Apocalypse is (and I AM) all about unveiling to you.
We live in a vibrational universe, and Hell is a frequency band within that creation. When our vibration slips low enough, we experience the reality of the lowest frequencies available on the planet. We experience things that others whose vibrations are higher don’t even know about and have never seen, heard, or felt. Which is why we often get told they’re not real by well-meaning healers, teachers, and counselors.
Everything in creation is a vibration, and our own reality all the way around us is in constant flux, depending on what our own personal vibration is. As a Sovereign Being, a Soul, a vibration that is constantly open to self-modulation, we can move all over the bands, up and down, all day long. If we are vibing high, we experience a range of wonderful manifestations that exist on that same band, and if we are vibing low, we get the horrible stuff. And the more horrible stuff we get, the lower our vibration sinks, and the worse it gets. That’s what’s happening to the majority of people on this planet. They are kept from the truth of this, taught to mock it, and trained to take their own vibration lower and lower on purpose. And as they do, they experience more and more Hell, which sends their vibration lower and lower, and thus they are enslaved.
This information, by the way, isn’t new. Abraham-Hicks (and all kinds of other sources) have been teaching it for decades. It’s the Law of Attraction. Abraham-Hicks was my first awakening to spiritual truth, but even though I thought I ‘got it’ and it did transform my life, it is only NOW that I REALLY get it and am living it every single day and night. So I’m just passing on this same information in my own voice, from my own very personal experiences of walking it out over some rather rough roads.
As I said in another post, the biggest boulder on my path was a STRONG, unyielding belief that, as a warrior for the Light, it was my job to point out everything that is wrong down here and do my damndest to fix it. I did this because I looked around at all the people around me who seemed to think this was the way things should be, or had to be, and all I could think of to do was SCREAM, “Oh my God! That is so fucked up! This needs fixed and this needs fixed and this is horrible and this is so WRONG and OH MY GOD are you people BLIND?”
Maybe you can relate.
I grew up in very low income neighborhoods filled with people who just wanted to make enough money to buy their booze to get drunk all weekend so they could go back to their shit jobs and do it again. I grew up surrounded by parents beating and molesting their kids, husbands beating and cheating on their wives, and people strung out on all kinds of substances trying to numb out to their pain and hopelessness. I grew up surrounded by poverty and disease, and people who never even dreamed of better.
I was blessed to have a family that was more loving than some, and who had escaped the drug addiction trap, but they too had their problems with rage and abuse and poverty and toxic relationships, and no one had ever been to college or even dreamed of climbing that high. In fact, they hated, feared, and resented people who lived that kind of life. So when I, at a very young age, knew that I wanted a life totally different from anything I had ever seen around me, I had NO ONE to tell me how to get there or to even believe it was possible.
Kinda like now. 😉
So I grew up a total outcast, angry and determined, believing I had to struggle and FIGHT and suffer for everything I ever got. And because I’m the most determined person you’ll ever meet, yes I went to college, and yes I had a wonderful marriage, and yes I broke the cycle of abuse with my own kids, but as I shared in my Who I Am post, I was never happy. And I never had enough money. And I never loved myself. And I totally didn’t understand everything I was still doing wrong.
I had a big aha moment at work one day. I was a juvenile probation officer, and I really liked my job. I had been there a few months, and a co-worker asked me how it was going, and I gave her my usual answer. And she said, “Don’t you like working here?” And I frowned and said, “Yeah, why?” And she said, “Whenever I ask you how it’s going, you tell me everything that’s going wrong. It just seems like you’re not happy here.” I was stunned. And she was right. I had grown up in a world (and family) where the basic belief was that things were hard for everyone, and the only way you could get attention, or sympathy, was to tell the saddest story. So it was automatic that if you asked me how it was going, I’d bring up everything that could be going better.
Wow. I had never, ever seen myself in that clear of a mirror before. And I absolutely did NOT like what I saw.
I stopped saying that at work, but I didn’t stop doing it in my heart. I still believed that as an activist and warrior, my job was to push against everything that was ‘wrong’ in the world, especially since everyone else seemed to think everything was fine the way it was. I constantly sought out every last thing about every last situation that could be better. And I improved a LOT of things! I totally revolutionized things everywhere I went! I came up with systems and suggestions and solutions that no one had ever thought of. I constantly pointed out things no one else had ever noticed, that if changed, would make things better for everyone. I was an activist and an innovator, a trainer, a designer, a healer, a counselor, and a fixer. And all of that is totally awesome, but the way I did it kept me absolutely miserable. I would literally walk into a room and notice everything about it that could be better. I was never, ever content with anything. In fact, I considered contentment blasphemy. Because to be content was to accept things the way they were, and I always, always, always wanted them to be better.
I also had an absolutely insane belief that if I enjoyed something, I didn’t deserve to be paid to do it, and that if I did something just for the fun of it, I was being irresponsible and childish, which seemed nearly evil to my hypnotized brain. I thought everything had to be ONLY about functionality and responsibility, and that to even want to write with a nice pen was something to be ashamed of when there were plenty of Bics laying around. And I mean REALLY ashamed of. Like ‘hide your gel pens from everyone’ ashamed of. In fact, I didn’t usually let myself buy them, and if I did, I often threw them away out of guilt.
And I LOVE pens. Nice pens. Good pens. Fun pens. Creative pens. They give me great joy. And you might think this is not a big deal, that this part of the story doesn’t matter, but when your soul gives you a personal ‘in’ to joy like this, and you think it’s evil and do everything you can to kill it, pretty soon things go bad. Because one by one, you kill off every little inroad to joy that your soul puts before you. You kill your Self. I did that. I thought inroads to ‘useless’ joy were evil, and that the road to salvation was paved with suffering and hard work and sacrifice. So if I liked something and couldn’t justify it with usefulness, I got rid of it. And I beat myself up for liking it. If I even thought about using a sparkly gel pen to write my grocery list with, I’d feel terribly guilty and pick up the Bic.
So yeah, being absolutely sure it was my job to constantly focus on everything that was wrong in the world, and then believing I had to suffer and sacrifice to fix it…of course I ended up trying to kill myself a few times! It seems like such a no-brainer now. But I really didn’t know why I was living in such a constant, unrelenting hell.
I finally ended up so disabled by my constant anxiety, severe depression, chronic pain, and dysphoric, suicidal manias that I COULDN’T work anymore. Couldn’t do anything useful anymore. Couldn’t fix anything. Couldn’t even do my own grocery shopping or answer the phone. Could just barely make myself agree to RESENTFULLY breathe through another day. And another. And another.
And it was during this time that I learned how to allow joy back into my life.
Because I was so incredibly miserable that all I could think of to stay alive was to seek out anything, absolutely anything, that would distract me from the absolute horror of my archonically-directed thoughts and feelings.
I think the first thing I did was discover Craftster. A forum where people who like to make things share what they make, and even swap the things they make with one another. Of course at first I was full of judgement about it. All these useless crafted things, what good are they? Especially since many of the things on Craftster are just fun, crafted items that celebrate one theme or another, like Harry Potter throw pillows. I couldn’t believe grown adults could spend their time, money, and attention on such useless stuff.
But I like to make stuff. I mean, I have a surreal fascination with glue guns. And I love seeing what other people make. And although I do like crafting really useful things, I decided to try swapping with people who wanted more fun things…and I found I liked crafting those things, too. I loved to make something that I knew was just going to give someone else happiness. I really loved it when I found out what special fandoms or themes someone was into and could think of something I could craft that celebrated it. I rationalized it by swapping for useful things, like supplies. I got totally addicted to Craftster, and because I was too disabled to do anything but craft stuff, I was one of the best swappers around. Craftster was a lifeboat that kept me out of some really deep, dark places for awhile. But, because you can’t build your whole life around swapping zombie tissue holders and that’s obviously not what I’m here to do, I fell back into the hole eventually, and even Craftster held no appeal for me.
It was around that time that I discovered art journaling. I had taken commercial art my first year in college, which really illustrates my damage. I loved art, and I thought that the only way to justify that was to take courses in how to commercialize it. After one year of that, I learned to hate art so much I switched to an academic major, psychology, and killed off one of the biggest inroads my soul ever gave me to pure joy and divine connection. I didn’t do art for twenty years, except in very useful ways, such as designing my own websites and business materials when I wasn’t too ill to work. No more doodling. I was trying to be an upstanding citizen, after all.
But art journaling is about processing your thoughts and feelings through art. And it breaks all the rules I’d been taught in school, mixing medias and encouraging total intuitive flow over technique and classic form. I fought with myself tooth and nail, listening to my inner critic scream about how useless it was, spending all that time and money on something you’re not even going to try to sell or hang on the wall! I went back and forth, trying not to do it, trying to do it, trying not to do it. But after I discovered all the videos of (mostly) women doing it on Youtube, I couldn’t keep myself in check any longer, and despite the nagging guilt, I threw myself headlong into that whole, wonderful world. I became totally addicted to art journaling. And I worked through good things and bad (mostly bad), spending hours and hours in my journals, distracting myself from the hell-scripts still constantly playing in my head.
And that was when I discovered something else on Youtube. Women (and a few men) who were making videos about how much they loved things like…pens. And organizers. And notebooks. Things I had spent my whole life trying VALIANTLY not to love. Here they were, BRAZENLY declaring their love for these things, and supporting one another’s fetishes with endless comments, forums, and even swaps! I was stunned at such hedonism. And so very, very titillated. I watched hours and hours and hours and hours of people gushing over their latest acquisitions, or just laying out the contents of their pencil pouches. Or their art kits. I could (and still can) watch people showing and telling the contents of their art kits or bags for hours on end and never get bored. And it was through watching them that I began to believe it was okay to love those things. It was okay to get excited over creating just the right planning system, and buying just the right pens to write with, and just the right paper to write on, and just the right art supplies to play with.
I began to really, really let myself like what I liked for the first time in my life. And to stop beating myself up over it. And to allow myself the guilty pleasure of using just the right pen on just the right paper in just the right planner. I brought more and more ‘useless’ joy into my life.
And then there was The Sims. The Sims 2 to be exact. I discovered the version that you play on your computer, and once again, I found something I could do for hours and hours and hours to distract myself from all the hell thoughts screaming in my brain, or the chronic aches and pains throughout my tortured body. When NOTHING else could bring me up and all I could think of was how much I wanted to die, the Sims could keep me breathing for one more day…then one more…then one more.
I’m not telling you this stuff because I want you to join Craftster, start art journaling, or pick up some Sims 2 discs. Those were some of MY first inroads to joy. The point is, your soul has inroads for you just as mine had for me, and when I learned to let myself follow them, I slowly, slowly found a road out of hell.
Because here’s the whole point. Our souls constantly seek joy and expansion. And when we allow ourselves to follow the paths to those things that our souls put before us, we climb higher and higher in the frequency bands of creation, which allows us to experience more and more positive and abundant manifestations. So the better we allow ourselves to feel, the better the actual reality all the way around us becomes.
And that includes the whole planet. Because as we align ourselves with our higher frequencies, we ALLOW in all the wonderful, world-changing manifestations we’ve held in our hearts all this time. All those rockets of desire that we fired during all those horrible times when we looked at what was and said, “OH MY GOD I WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT!” All those requests are up there, in those higher frequencies, just waiting to be allowed to come in. But they can’t come to us in the lower frequencies, because they don’t fit. We have to go to them in the higher frequencies. So every time we allow ourselves to feel better, to seek joy for the sake of joy, we get closer and closer to all the miracles we’re actually HERE to manifest. And we bring them to life for the rest of the world.
As Abraham-Hicks says, “It is good to feel good.” I’ll go you one better and say it’s necessary. It’s life. We’re not here to suffer. Our souls refuse to play that game. They’re only about fun. So when we choose suffering, we get further and further away from our souls and our dreams and our highest intentions. We become useless, or worse. And we ARE here to change things. Especially now, at the end of this Grand Experiment in total free will. We, the Light Warriors, are here to create something that has never been here before. We are here to look at what is here, decide what we want instead, and then follow our soul’s Guidance as to how to ALLOW it in from the higher frequencies. And our soul talks to us through emotions. If we think of doing something and it doesn’t feel good, that’s not our soul’s chosen pathway. If we don’t know what to do, we need to ASK our souls, our hearts, “What would feel BEST right now?” and that will be the pathway to the higher frequencies, where our best creations, and our next step, reside.
Honestly, the best way to learn about this that I can share with you is the Abraham-Hicks materials, and the absolute MIRACLE of that is, you can access all of them on Youtube now, searchable by subject. It’s like being able to talk to God anytime you like about virtually anything you like. Back in the old days when I first found them in the mid-90’s, I had to buy a set of cassette tapes for $80 that covered one set of subjects. Now, there are snippets shared for free by all kinds of different people all day long. I can’t tell you how miraculous this is. I use it every day.
So, this is how I live my life now, as I walk this CRAZY FOOL’S JOURNEY of living day to day by only the grace and guidance of God, having NO CLUE where I’m going or what I’m doing or how to manifest this PHENOMENALLY HUGE AND COMPLICATED Divine Plan for World Peace and Freedom from Financial Enslavement.
I wake up and immediately look for things to feel good about. The comfort of my bed, the light coming in the windows, the warmth or coolness of the air, the earliness or lateness of the hour, whatever I can think of. Then I go to my computer and look for more things to uplift me. I ADORE YOUTUBE. I check my astrology readings, then I check my various channeled messages that I subscribe to for daily inspiration, upliftment, and explanation of the current state of the Ascension process. I subscribe to various sources of Abraham materials, so I will watch whatever ones of those appeal to me, then I’ll go to ones I’ve saved that apply to my own personal situation more directly. Then I might search out others if there’s a specific topic I’m dealing with in my head, such as relationships or money or doubt or security or manifesting BIG HUGE DREAMS that no one else believes are possible. 😉 And I collect songs that speak to my soul, that remind me of who I am, that are written by my MAGNIFICENT Indigo kids and other Light Warriors, that celebrate freedom and revolution and courage and faith and trust and love. And I play them all day. I also use chakra toning videos every day and throughout the night to maintain my energy field, and of course, I have art journaling videos to inspire and entertain me for hours on end.
If you want to see the things I watch to uplift me, feel free to visit my Youtube channel and look through my Playlist and Subscriptions. I don’t have any videos of my own posted there yet (but I will, so you should totally subscribe), but you can see what I watch to modulate my vibration, and maybe some of it will appeal to you, too.
I am constantly, consistently looking for everything in the world that I can find some reason to appreciate. When I feel down and tired, or nauseated and sore, or lonely, or anxious about the uncertainty of my future, or sad about leaving behind the good things in my old life, I look for things I can say, “Thank you” for. My food, the flowers, the ocean, the breeze, my clothes, my new thin body, my tan, my new biceps, the hot shower, the soft towel…and I gotta tell you, God has given me a TON and a half of things to bask in lately. It’s kinda ridiculous. And since right now I’m not being given any steps to take to push my Petition-that’s-going-to-change-the-world forward, my job is to bask. Just bask. And I have spent hours and hours doing just that. Basking in nature, basking in stuff on the Internet, basking in Abraham teachings, basking in the amazing people I’ve met, basking in playing The Sims 2, basking in music, basking in amazing Humboldt food, basking in making art, basking in watching others make art, basking in the sun, basking in the humming birds, basking in the butterflies, basking in the halos around the sun, basking on the beach, basking, basking, basking.
Yep, that’s my work as The New Messiah right now. Learning to bask. Learning to just do whatever feels best in every moment, which keeps my channel CLEAR to receive whatever new Guidance needs to come through on my next steps in manifesting this ridiculously HUGE and UNBELIEVABLE-to-most vision of a New Earth Society. Because that’s how New Earth will be born. We don’t know how to do this! We don’t have one damned clue how to make these ENORMOUS CHANGES that have to happen to our bodies, our paradigms, our systems, our environment, our brains, our lives! This won’t happen through us trying to figure everything out and follow the old rules about how to get things done. This will ONLY happen through ALLOWING CREATOR to work THROUGH US. Our only job is to ALIGN with our highest frequency realities which already exist up there, waiting for us.
That’s what I mean when I say, “WE ARE ALREADY VICTORIOUS!” The highest frequency versions of us, of our reality, are already REAL. They’re already CREATED. Now we just have to RISE UP to meet them. And we do that by pursuing our joy. By feeling as good as we can. By basking in everything good that we possibly can to give it more of our creation energy, and IGNORING everything negative that we possibly can, to deprive it of the sunshine of our attention.
I know, that seems blasphemous. To ignore evil. But everything in creation survives on the food of our attention, and if we give it to evil, evil thrives. If we give it to good, good thrives. It’s so simple. And so powerful. And so very dangerous when we don’t know what we’re doing. Like pouring fertilizer on poison oak. Even my earlier posts on this blog illustrate that I was still learning about this.
But now I know. I really get it. The secret is out. This is NOT a universe of exclusion. Meaning, we cannot REPEL anything. We cannot get rid of anything by being AGAINST it because that puts our focus ON it. We are magnets. We can ONLY attract. And we attract through attention and vibration. What we focus on comes closer and brings more things with it that will make us feel the same way, and we attract according to whatever frequency band we’re inhabiting. So the trick is to live in the highest frequencies and focus on everything great about it so that we just keep getting more and more and more of that. And the more GOOD we get, the more we have to bask in, which takes us higher and higher, manifesting better and better, until we have Peace on Earth.
Seriously. We can get there. And it’s time. It’s what we’re here for and we all know it.
So let’s do it. 🙂 Whaddya say?
All my Love,