Why You’re Hiding From Me

You’re on crack.

You’ve been sold into slavery, and you’re all in one house, imprisoned.  And you’re all sitting around smoking crack, because that’s what your master likes you to do.

There’s a knock on the door.  You all jump and look at each other.

And because you’re terrified of getting caught smoking crack, you all jump behind the couch and do not make ONE SINGLE SOUND.

I’m an F.B.I. agent.


And I’ve received a really good tip that there’s a house full of humans being held in slavery, and I’m here to free them.

And I know you’re in there.  I’ve brought a team with Me, and I’ve got supercool equipment that can read infrared signatures, and I know you’re in there.  But I’m not allowed to enter the home until I get confirmation from someone that you want your freedom.  Because all I have is a really good tip.  I don’t have any evidence that you are being held against your own will.

I can’t smash in the door.  I have to get someone to open it.

And I know your master isn’t at home, so I can talk to you freely.  So I explain the situation; that I’m here to get you out, not arrest you for what your master has been making you do.  I explain that I don’t care what’s been going on in there because I know you’ve been acting against your own will.  I explain that if you just come with Me and leave the crack pipes behind, all I want to do is give you your freedom.

And that’s where we’re at.


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