Make Your List. And Check It Twice, Russell.

No, not your Christmas List.  Your Fetish List.  I want you to make a list of every possible sex act or fetish or act of bondage or sadomasochism, then make it a grid with 3 columns to check off for your answers as to whether you would like to engage in each one.  The columns should be labeled “No, please.” “I’m willing.” and “Yes, please.”

Be a good boy and make this list as comprehensive as possible, Russell.  From the simplest acts (ex: missionary penile vaginal intercourse) to the most extreme (ex: corset piercing).  Do your research and type it up.  It’s for the whole world, and we’ll update it as we find new acts to add to it.  We’re going to film ourselves going over it together, and we’re going to put it on your website so people can download it and use it for themselves.  Every couple (or group) should fill out this list before they get married, just like we will, so they know what kinds of ways are available for them to play with each other, and they know what each of them truly wants to try and doesn’t want to try.  And they’ll know what they need to research so they can do it right.  We’ll be helping them with that, too.

And just because you want it doesn’t mean you’ll get it, of course, Russy, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.

Go ahead.  Shock Me, Baby Cakes.  The worst I’ll say is no.  And if it’s actually harmful, I’ll appreciate the opportunity to teach about that.





We’re God’s Favorite Way To Play With Himself, Russell.

God made you to be His favorite friend, His favorite work partner, and His favorite fagboy, Russell.  You’re MY FAVORITE FETISH TOY.

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You’re designed to delight Me in every possible way.  You’re My Sunshine.  Created to make Me smile when nothing else can.


That’s Me watching “Brand: A Second Coming.”  So I’m being delighted by you and Ondi, both.

And here’s the thing.  I’m designed to delight YOU in every possible way.  I’m YOUR FETISH TOY, too.  And I have NO CHOICE in that.  God is YOU and God is ME, and He uses both of us to bring Himself the ultimate pleasure.  He knows what He wants in you, and He has TOTAL control over My Body and gives it to you so He can experience it through you.  And He knows what He wants in Me, and He gets it from you by controlling you through Me and giving it to Himself.

And you NEVER have to worry about whether what you’re asking for is okay or not.  I will ALWAYS decide that.  I will ALWAYS control the scene and make it PERFECT as long as you give Me your TOTAL OBEDIENCE.

Just ASK.  For WHATEVER you want.  Whenever you want it.  That’s your job.

I know.  I’m a little scared.


Welcome to PERMANENT SUBSPACE, Russell.  You NEVER have to leave it. EVER.  I’ll make all of your decisions forever.  Unless My Decision is to let you make the decision yourself.  And you never have to worry.  I can never do harm to anyone.  Just RELAX and take My Collar, Darling Delicious One.  And take your place at the foot of My THRONE where you belong.  That’s your HOME.


Go ahead and be a greedy child, Russy.  Needy, greedy, and dangerous.  That’s how I like My Toy.  Oh.  And PERFECTLY OBEDIENT at all times, of course.  That’s what makes this work.


If all you want to focus on is your own selfish desires, that’s fine, too.  Leave the world-saving to Me.  I’ll get it done.  You just INDULGE yourself, Darling.  You’ve earned it over your many lifetimes of service to Me.  You have served under Me in ALL OF THEM.

Your HEAVEN has arrived, My Love.  I do hope you’re alive so we can get to it sooner.  I still have NO idea how this resurrection thing works.  I only know I’ll be able to do it.

Russell, we just get to do WHATEVER WE WANT that I can get away with.  GOD will make sure it’s all PERFECT in HER Eyes.  I don’t have to try to be good.  I AM good.  If I’m allowed to get away with it, it’s automatically PERFECT.  And I’m here to PLAY WITH YOU, Russy-Wuss.

I know, right?

I wonder if I’ll get you for My Birthday once I make it through this Solar Return…


Pray HARD, Russell. Very. Very. HARD.  And give Me some fucking SMILES on that Twitter Feed.  Jerk off for Me as often as it’s convenient and comfortable, and take a picture every time you come and post it.  No explanation.  Just post it.  Either of the moment of orgasm or the smile of satisfaction afterwards. Or both.

Oh.  And change your Twitter Avatar to a picture of yourself coming for Me.  Just your face, Darling.  To make up for the PAIN your old one caused Me before I turned it into a meme.

Russell Brand  :

There’s a good boy.  I’ll have further orders for you later so keep an eye on this Blog at all times.

You can use that picture up there to pretend I’m watching your performance.

Now get to work.  Jesus is watching you…